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Mama Tried

satanspersonallapdancer:

kuntquats:

tag-redfield:

Guys check this out, I finally have enough beard to do that thing that turns you into an instant Disney villain…

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ALADDIN GIVE ME THE LAMP 

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you look more like Captain Hook had sex with Chris Evans and the God of Beauty was born



dejanentendu:

college-life-crisis:

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I almost spit out my water



officialunitedstates:

*walks into tattoo store*  I’d like one of them permanent stickers



dildotho:

one time when I was 13 I wrote wtf on a Facebook status and my dad had a talk with me about being appropriate on the Internet



ed-shizzah:

Yesterday this girl in my class comes to me to tell me that she loves ‘Don’t’. I was like ‘thank you!’ but then i realised that its not my song or anything…



itsbetterthananal:

my dad just yelled up the stairs “CHLOE DID YOU KNOW THE WEATHERMAN WAS GAY I DIDNT KNOW HE WAS GAY HE JUST GOT MARRIED TO HIS BOYFRIEND” and i was like which weatheman are we talking about here and he said “THE BLONDE ONE WITH THE SHARP HAIR CUT AND THE TIGHT PECS AND THE HOT ASS BODY” dad is there something you want to tell me





gettingsweptaways:

Guess what we have one typical menstrual cycle length until 1989 is released. Fun fact of the day.



hotwhiteguy:

hotwhiteguy:

i lost my number, can you give me yours

no no no not your phone number your credit card number





I keep cruising.






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